How do we see God? How is our relationship with Him? What is our prayer like? Is God just our "Cosmic Butler" or is he a real Father to us? Today's readings and Gospel call us out of ourselves, to have a real relationship with God as our Father, and to let that love overflow into love for our brothers and sisters in Christ.
About thirteen years ago I went to a conference for people involved in some way with youth ministry. It had an impressive lineup of speakers. Vincent Nichols, the relatively-new Archbishop of Westminster was there, along with Abbot Christopher Jamieson, who had just made a documentary series bringing ordinary people into Worth Abbey to experience the silence of the monastery, and Fr Timothy Radcliffe OP, who had been Master of the Order of Preachers and is the author of a great many bestselling books. My memories of that conference are quite dim all these years later, and I don’t remember what any of these Catholic luminaries actually said (other than an amusing joke Timothy Radcliffe told about an Archbishop and a Genie) but what I do remember is an American married couple whose names I have forgotten but who were also speakers at this event. They were talking about an attitudes survey, specifically about how ordinary people saw their relationship with God and their attitudes towards prayer. The phrase they used, to describe the majority of young Catholic’s approach to God, was cosmic butler.
If anyone else remembers the Addams Family being on TV you might remember that they had a Frankenstein’s monster-esque butler named Lurch; whenever the family needed him they’d ring a very loud bell and Lurch would appear, saying “You Rang?” For so many people, this is how we can see prayer, like ringing a bell whenever we need something from God, and then we expect the almighty to appear on cue and give us what we want. It’s why so many people can get disheartened when they pray and don’t get the results they want, or even any feeling of comfort from it: if we treat God as a butler we will very often find ourselves disappointed with the "service" he provides. Prayers that feel unanswered, that feel hollow and ridiculous, prayers that feel like talking to nobody. God is not our Butler. He isn’t at our beck and call; we can’t snap our fingers or ring a bell and demand service from him. He is our Father, he created us so that we could know him, love him, and serve him; he wants a relationship with us – he wants us to see him as our Father.
This is a question I found myself asking our children and young adults who were making first communion or receiving confirmation, when we talked about prayer. I asked them to imagine that they’d gone home to their parents after their session, or after school, and their mum or dad had said “hello, how are you, how was school?” or “how was confirmation class?” I asked them to imagine that instead of answering, instead of saying anything at all, they just walked on by into their bedroom without saying a word, and closed the door. How would their parents have felt? Good or bad? Like their children loved them and needed them or not? Would they have felt ignored? With the older teenagers I added something else; what if the only time you spoke to your parents was to ask them for money? You’re hard up for cash and need £10, so you go to your mum or your dad and ask for money; the first time maybe they’d give it to you, but as soon as it became clear that you were just using them, only coming round when you wanted something, they might start to say no. Not because they don’t love you, but because you clearly don’t love them as anything more than a cashpoint.
This is very similar to our relationship to God the Father; what he wants is our love, and if we treat him like a Cosmic Butler or an ATM whenever we want something, then there’s something missing in our relationship with him. Love is missing.
The story in our first reading of the Shunammite woman, is a fitting metaphor for our relationship to God. She sees the Prophet Elisha and invites him into her home for a meal. Whenever he passes by from then on, he stops by her house. It is clear he is a holy man, a prophet, and so she convinces her husband to build a room for Elisha on the roof of their house. He moves from a passing stranger, to a friend, to a guest. There is a deepening of friendship which begins by making time for him and deepens by making room for him; then he gives her a gift out of love – God grants her a Son. This same Shunamite woman appears again twice in the story of the prophet Elisha – her son dies, and Elisha raises him from the dead, there is a famine and she is warned to go elsewhere for a while to avoid it. Her friendship with Elisha, the man of God, reaps rewards – but it began from that place of friendship.
If we want our relationship with God to yield fruits, it has to be a real relationship. This means we have to make time for him and it means we have to make room for him. It begins with Sundays and Holy Days – coming to Mass religiously is the best beginning; we hear his words through sacred scripture and we receive him as an intimate guest into our souls by receiving him in the Eucharist. By acts of devotion and worship we grow to know him and to love him. This then has to flow out into the rest of our lives. We have entertained him at a meal, we have come to his house, now we have to make room for him in our own houses, in our own lives.
This begins simply; set aside some space in your house or flat that is just for prayer. A little image of the Sacred Heart or the Blessed Virgin with the Christ-child, a candle or two. A crucifix on a mantelpiece. I have an acquaintance who has set up a whole miniature altar in his home and runs a Facebook group where people share photos of their own impressive prayer spaces. Once you have a space for prayer, however simple or elaborate, use it. Use it for prayer. Try a daily rosary, find a short prayer for morning and evening. Spend some time at the beginning and end of each day in silence with the Lord. If you have an icon, stop to kiss it during the day. Do something every day to make room for God.
There is a second dimension to this, a second way we make room for God; that is by making time and room for other people. The woman of Shunem was hospitable, she welcomed the prophet into her home. Jesus commands us in the Gospel to do likewise – to be hospitable to one another, to recognise Him in His disciples. He tells us, be hospitable to prophets, be hospitable to holy men, and then to be hospitable to the "little ones." When Jesus speaks about the "little ones" he means people who are struggling, people who need our help, like children need the help of a parent. He uses a beautiful metaphor, remembering that he came from a hot desert country;
If anyone gives so much as a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is a disciple, then I tell you solemnly, he will most certainly not lose his reward.
Just a cup of cold water to a thirsty person; it can be as small and as practical as this, but this is the pattern Jesus has laid out for us.
Notice, he speaks about love for God first, about loving him more than father or mother, or son or daughter, and tells us to take up the cross and follow him. Then he commands us to be hospitable to one another. This isn't a coincidence. The reason we love our brothers and sisters, our family, is because of the love we have for our parents. We love them because we have our parents in common and we want our parents to be happy with us. We love them because our parents love them and want us to love them too. This is how it is with God; He is our Father, he binds us together as brothers and sisters and he asks us to love one another just as He loves us.
Our devotion to the Father has to flow down into our lives, from acquaintance, to friendship, to deep love, and then it has to overflow into our daily lives and the way we treat other people. Love isn't an idea, or a feeling, it's practical, it's acts of service; it's a cold glass of water given to someone struggling in the desert. If you see someone in need, and it's in your power to alleviate that need; do it. Because Jesus promises us; If anyone gives so much as a cup of cold water to one of these little ones he will most certainly not lose his reward.
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